Dark Humor Jokes

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

A Little Period

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude.
But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period" reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that" she said. "But what is so exciting about a period?"
"Damned if I know" said Johnnie, "but this morning my fifteen-year-old sister said she missed two. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

Categories: Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes (At School) , School Jokes (Elementary School Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Pregnancy Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Learning To Swim?

"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Back From the Dead

An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened? "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Jew and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Jew was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his!"

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Canadian Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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