Johnny and Grandma

Johnny wakes up and hears screaming. He opens the door to his parents room and sees mom, handcuffed to the bed's headboard, dad ramming her from behind. Johnny screams. Dad turns to looks at him, laughs and gives mom a slap on the bum for good measure. Johnny runs away, screaming. Once dad has finished mom off, he uncuffs her. She immediately says, 'You better go tell Johnny everything is OK, the shit he just saw could scar him for life". Dad rolls his eyes and begrudgingly agrees. Pulls on his robe and heads for Johnny's room only to find it's empty. He then heads for the TV room but when he passes the guest room, he notices the door is ajar, noises coming from inside. He opens the door to look in and sees Granny on her hands and knees, little Johnny fucking her from behind. Dad screams.
Johnny turns around looks at him and says "Yeah, not so funny when it's your mom huh?"

Captain Hook Died

Q: How did Captain Hook die?
A: He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!!

Princess Diana Alive

Q: What would Princess Di be doing if she were still alive?
A: Scratching like hell to get out of her coffin!