Bill Clinton Walking

American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of crap he can't fly.

Nerds vs Jocks

An answer to the eternal question: "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?" Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game: $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)! Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.  He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike). He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account (401k), he will have hit the federal cap of $9500 for such accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1998. If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year. He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. He'll make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run. While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600. Next year, he'll make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?
But: Jordan will have to save 100% of his income for 270 years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates. Nerds win!

Rodney Dangerfield Famous Lines

• "My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg."
• "Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home."
• "A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!"
• "A hooker once told me she had a headache."
• "I went to a massage parlour. It was self-service."
• "If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all."
• "I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'"
• "I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off."
• "I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders."
• "My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves."
• "I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning."
• "The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'"
• "My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal."
• "My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night."
• "My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with."