Disgruntled Genie

A man walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges. She says "normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son of a bitch, I am going to grant only 1." He thinks a minute and says - "OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed." She says "So be it!" and disappears back into the bottle. Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance!

Animal Infidelity

Q: What happened when Snoopy found out his girl cheated on him?
A: He bitch-slapped her.

Smells Like Piss

Q: What goes in and out and smells of piss?
A: The Queen Mother