Michael's Nose

I went past a plastic surgeon's shop the other day and saw Michael Jackson picking his nose.

Run For Office?

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties. George Clooney

Signs He's a Bad Chiropractor

From Late Show with David Letterman:
Top Ten Signs You've Gone To a Bad Chiropractor
10. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.
9. Keeps saying, "A spine is like a box of chocolates."
8. Repeatly asks, "You a cop? You sure you ain't a cop?"
7. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by "Uh-oh."
6. There's a two drink minimum.
5. At end of session, lies down on the table and says, "My turn!"
4. He was nowhere near Woodstock and yet he's covered with mud.
3. Rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his Burger King uniform.
2. Hints that for an extra $50, he'll "straighten" something else.
1. You're fully-clothed and he's naked.