Blonde - Flashlight

There was a Blond and a Brunette on an airplane.  All of a sudden the engine blew and they started to crash!  There was only one parachute and a flashlight.  The Brunette grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blond, "Ok, this is a magic flashlight, I will shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light!  Then I will follow you with the parachute."  The blond looked at her sceptically and said, "Do you think I am that dumb? I know when I am halfway down you're gonna turn it off!"

Blonde - Diet

A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "But, I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"

Accidents Near Home

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home?
A: She moved ten miles away.