No Outside Food Allowed

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. Then the bartender says, ''Sorry, but you can't eat your own food in here.'' So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.

Drunk on Trial

A drunk appears in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started!"

A Duck Walks Into A Bar

A Duck walks into a bar,
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: No, sorry, we don't have any bread [After a few minutes]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: Look, we don't have any bread [In a little while]
Duck: You got any bread?
Barman: We don't have any fucking bread!
Duck: Got any bread?
Barman: If you ask me if I've got any fucking bread once more I'm gonna nail your fucking bill to this bar.
Duck: You got any nails?
Barman: NO!
Duck: You got any bread?