Same Response

My wife often complains to me when she's drunk. Last night she complained when she was sober.
Non alcoholic whine.

If She Went Out With Me

A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers.  In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town's football team. He was bragging about his girlfriend and how she was lucky to have him for a boyfriend. The lumberjack, after drinking six bottles of beer, was heard to say, "Buddy, if she went out with me, she'd never go out with you ever again."  To which the local jock replied, "Hey buddy, if she went out with you, she'd never go out with ANYONE ever again."

12 in a Bar

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "You're under 18," replies the barman.