Adam and Eve

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian!"

Wrong Road

My addiction to classical music led to me losing my job, then turning to drugs.
It was Bach, sack and crack.

Chemistry Song

Chemistry Wonderland Gases explode, are you listenin' 
In your rest tube, silver glistens 
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight 
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
Gone away, is the buoyancy
Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?" and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"
Later on, as we calculate the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made walking in a chemistry wonderland.