Chemistry Song

Chemistry Wonderland Gases explode, are you listenin' 
In your rest tube, silver glistens 
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight 
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
Gone away, is the buoyancy
Here to stay, is the density
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a chemistry wonderland.
In the beaker we will make lead carbonate and decide if what's left is nitrate
My partner asks "Do we measure it in moles or grams?" and I'll say, "Does it matter in the end?"
Later on, as we calculate the amount, of our nitrate
We'll face unafraid, the precipitates that we made walking in a chemistry wonderland. 

Just Fake It

A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. "Help!" cried the cellist, "I can't swim!" "Don't worry," said the violist, "just fake it."

The Insane Conductor

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down."
The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"