Follow Instructions

When I'm at the opera, I hate those long solo numbers they do. Someone gave me a spray that will make it pass quickly.
The instructions on the bottle read "Spread over a large aria"

Conductor's House

Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
A: They've had little use.

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz
Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean, Alas for the spreading of the sea, Alas for every year that passes by, Taking you two inches more from me! Oh, why did you leave our native plate, Causing me to weep and to mourn? With the plates diverging at such a rate, To leave me alone and lorn? If only the mantle would my counsel take, If the Earth would but listen unto me, I'd say, "Your convection cell remake, And bring my darling back to me!" So dive you down, you ocean dark, Part of the mantle be- Fire you up, you island arc - Subduct my darling back to me!