Nice Try

Organized a day of entertainment to try and raise money for charity. The police turned up, shut it down, and closed off the area.
My fete is sealed

Here's Your Punishment

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

Clarinet and Onion

Q: What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.