Seven Dwarfs in Rome

The seven dwarfs were in Rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. "Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?" "Sorry," she replies, "but there are no dwarf nuns here." "Well, are there any in the city." "No, there are no dwarf nuns." "What, none anywhere in Europe?" "No, little man." "None in the entire world." "Take my word for it." At this 6 of the seven dwarfs burst out laughing. The Mother Superior asks "What's so funny?" "Dopey just fucked a penguin".

Reptiles!

Q: What kind of tiles can't stick on walls?
A: Reptiles!
 

Lobsters and Their Ice Cream

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach.The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone. Having purchased two cones, Mr. Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way back to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating hers too. When he arrived back at the beach, Ms. Lobster asked, "Where's my ice cream cone?"
"Well, I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate it, too," he replied.
She was enraged and cried, "You shellfish jerk!!"