It's Not Coca Cola

Q: What is a bear's favorite drink?
A: Koka-Koala!

The Three Moles

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.  The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage.  The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes."  The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses!"

News Travels

There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?" After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good time to be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he had to think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion. Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide.The hunter, who was surfing the web on his iPad, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter's shirt and hat, and started to scroll down the hunter's iPad. A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunter reading the iPad, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?" From behind the iPad the gorilla answered, "You mean the one that screwed the lion in the ass?" Flabbergasted, the lion said, "Holy Shit! It's posted on the internet already?"