Caught By Alligator

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Inverness, FL 71-year-old man fell off a dock and into the jaws of an alligator, but said his knowledge of reptiles, gained from watching wildlife programs on television, helped him escape. "I wasn't a bit afraid. I knew what they usually do," said George Blinn, who got away from the 7-foot gator by jabbing his thumb in its eye.
Blinn said he has long been a fan of such programs as Wild Kingdom and knew about alligators' general behavior. He got the chance to use that knowledge when he fell into the canal behind his house. Blinn said the alligator bit him on the left hand and then flopped him over in the water three times before Blinn escaped.

Dead Monkey

Q: Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: 'Cause he was dead!

Vampire's Favorite Animal

Q: What's a vampire's favorite animal?
A: A giraffe!