A Pastor Hunting

A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. The pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and sending his rifle flying through the air, just out of his reach. As the bear closed in, the pastor cried out "Lord, I'm sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me and save me! - Lord please make this bear a Christian". Suddenly the bear skipped to a halt at the pastor's feet, fell to it's knees, clasped it's paws together, began to weep and said "God bless this food which I am about to receive!"

Playing Bingo

Q: What do rodents say when they play bingo?
A: 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!

You Might Be A Redneck 50

You might be a redneck if...

• You think cur is a breed of dog.
• People hear your car long before they see it.
• Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
• Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
• Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
• Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
• Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
• You've ever hitchhiked naked.
• You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
• Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.