Wet Bear

Q: What kind of bears like to go out in the rain?
A: 'Drizzly' bears.

Monkey's For Sale

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, ''I'll have that monkey please.'' The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying, ''That'll be $5000.'' The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, ''That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did he cost so much?'' The shopkeeper answered, ''Ah, that monkey can program in 'C' very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.'' The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. ''That one's even more expensive - $10,000! What does he do?'' ''Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; he can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,'' said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of his own. The price tag around his neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, ''That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does he do?'' The shopkeeper shrugged and said, ''Well, to tell you the truth, I haven't actually seen him do anything, but he says he's a SAP consultant.''

Saving the Possum!

Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an possum. Knowing that mother possums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little possum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, "Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, "I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies, "Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"