Dingle House

A guy goes to a pet store to buy an unusual pet and walks out with a centipede in a white box. Once he gets it home, the guy decides to take the centipede to his local bar and show it to his drinking buddies. He taps on the box and says, “Would you like to go to the Dingle House with me and have a beer?” There’s no answer from the centipede. He waits a few moments then says, “How about you and me going to a bar?” Again, there’s no answer. Thinking the centipede can’t hear him, the man goes right up to the box and yells, “Hey! Would you like to go to the Dingle House bar and have a drink?!” A little voice comes out of the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”

Silkworm Race

Q: Which silkworm won the race?
A: Neither. They ended up in a tie.

The Two Bees

Two bees ran into each other. One asked the other how things were going. "Really bad," said the second bee, "the weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey. "No problem," said the first bee, "Just fly down five blocks and turn left and keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee and flew away. A few hours later the two bees ran into each other again and the first bee asked, "How'd it go?" "Fine," said the second bee, "it was everything you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee. "That's my yarmulka," said the second bee, "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."