Brown Bag Surprise

One night a man walked into a bar with a brown paper bag. The woman sitting on the stool next to him asked him what it he had in there. He replies, "Sorry ma'am, I can't tell you. It's impolite." The woman kept asking, the man kept refusing until, finally, he told her, "Okay, if you must know, it's a pussy-eating frog." The woman insisted she didn't believe it and told him to come up to her hotel room and prove it. So the man followed her up to her room, she got into bed, he put the frog under the blanket and told it to eat. Nothing happened. The man kept telling the frog to eat. The woman began to get annoyed that nothing was happening. "Alright," said the man at length, "he's nervous. I'll have to show him how to do it all over again..."

Emotional Frog

Q: Why was the frog sad?
A: He was unhoppy.

Fishing with Jack

A man is going fishing one day. After awhile, he runs out of bait. He sees a snake nearby with a frog in its mouth. Knowing that a frog will make good bait, he catches the snake. He removes the frog, and thinks to himself, "How do I let the snake go without getting bit?" He ponders for a minute, then, with his free hand, reaches for his bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey. He pops it open and pours some in the snake's mouth. The snake goes limp and the man tosses it away. Later, as he is getting ready to go home, he feels something on his foot. The man looks down to see the snake next to the whiskey, this time with two frogs in its mouth.