Cat Under the Car

Q: Why did the cat sleep under the car?
A: Because she wanted to wake up oily!

Things I've Learned From My Cat

• Make the world your playground.
• Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up.
• Dragging a sock over it helps.
• If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
• When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
• Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
• Nap often.When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
• Life is hard, and then you nap.
• Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
• Variety is the spice of life.
• One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them and play with them when they're busy.
• Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
• Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
• Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".

Cat On The Highway

Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
A: Meooooooooooooooooooow!