Born Again

A man finds his dog with a dead rabbit in its mouth. He realizes that the rabbit is a pet of his next-door neighbor. In a panic he cleans the rabbit up and sneaks it into its cage, hoping his neighbor will think their pet died of natural causes. Next day he spots his neighbor digging a hole in the flower beds and goes over to investigate. “What are you doing?” asks the man. “Burying my rabbit again,” replies the neighbor. “There sure are some sick people around here. The rabbit dropped dead on Monday, I buried it on Tuesday, and on Wednesday some bastard dug it up, gave it a wash , and stuck it back in its cage.”

Sick Ponies

Q: Where do you take sick ponies?
A: To the horsepital!

Dress for Success

Q: What do you call an alligator dressed in a vest?
A: An investigator.