No Legged Turtle

Q: Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

A: Where ever you left it!
 

Cat Be a Dog

Q: How do you make a cat be a dog?
A: Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'

A Talking Horse

A traveling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 races and won over $5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn. "The salesman worked out the value of having a talking horse, found the horse's owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal. "Oh, you don't want that horse," said the farmer. "Yes I do," said the salesman, "and I'll give you $10,000 for the horse. "Recognizing a good deal, the farmer said without hesitation, "He's yours." While he wrote out his check, the salesman asked, "By the way, why wouldn't I want your horse?" "Because," said the farmer, "he's a liar - he hasn't won a race in his life."