New Born Puppies

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. President Obama was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service agents. Obama asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box. The little boy said, "Democrats." The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!" A few weeks later Obama was jogging again, this time with Biden in tow. Obama stopped at the boy's house, winked at Joe and said, "Hey kid, what kind of puppies are in the box?" The boy said, "Republicans" Obama looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Democrats!" The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."

Carrots for Eyesight

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Milking A Goat

You might be a redneck if you know how to milk a goat.