Sick Dog

A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto the the operating table, looks down and says, "Say ahhh!" The man looks at the vet and says, "The dog can't speak. "The vet says to the man, "I was talking to YOU. The dog's dead!!"

Kodiak Bear's Dessert

Q: What is the Kodiak bears favorite dessert?
A: ESKIMO PIE.

Man, Witch and Frog

There was a man who had a 25 inch penis, so he decided to see a witch to have it reduced. Once with the witch he said, ''I need your help. My penis is so big it's hard for me to find women who can accommodate me. Can you help me?" The witch said, "Go to the forrest, in the middle of it you'll find a frog, ask it to marry you."
So he left to the forrest and after hours of walking he found the frog, he kneeled down and asked the frog to marry him.
The frog said, "NO." Then his penis shrunk five inches. So he figured it out for every time the frog said no it will shrink five inches. He asked the frog again, "Will you marry me?" And again, the frog said, "NO." And it shrunk another five inches.
Then he thought, "15 inches is still too big. I'll ask it again. Ten inches will be fine." So he asked the frog one more time, "Will you marry me?" The frog looked up at him in disgust and said, "I told you: NO. NO. NO. A million times NO!"