Fishy

Q: What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A: A fish tank!

Goodbye To Mother

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They didn't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife went out to the taxi while the husband went upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long", he said, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

A 200 Ton Elephant Sit?

Q: Where does a 200 ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere he wants!