Refusal to Speak

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

A Hippo What?

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was. The first said, "The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it's got such big jowls. One bite and your gone." The second shook his head and said  "Nah, hippo may be mean, but ain't nothing meaner than an alligator. He got a big mouth and all them teeth, snap ?, one bite, ha, one swallow, you gone." The third gentleman sat for a moment, and finally he spoke and said, " No sir, the meanest aninmal in the world is a hippagator." The other two in disbelief inquired as to what in the world is a hippagator, believing there was no such animal. The gentleman slowly began to explain, "A hippagator got a hippo head on one end, and an 'gator head on the other" "WAIT !"  interrupted the others, "If he has a head on both ends, How does he shit ?" The reply was simply, "He don't, that's what makes him so mean".

Clinton Country

A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV goes on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, "There's a horses ass!" A guy gets up and punches him... And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said the same, "There's a horses ASS..." He then got punched again... So he says to the bartender, "What is this, a Clinton country?" The bartender says "no, Horse country."