Makes You Think

• I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
• What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?
• If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
• I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!
• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Birds Eye Fish Fingers

Q: What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
A: Birds thigh fish fingers!

Elephants in Pink Sweaters

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.