Walking in Ireland

A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became hungry, so he decided to stop and ask for something to eat. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied, "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

Sheep

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?
A: A cloud!

Elephant in the Garage

Q: How do you know when an elephant's been fucking in your garage?
A: Your Hefty bags are missing.