Alcohol Jokes

Refrigerator Husband

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband he thinks he's a refrigerator!" "I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass." "But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps with his mouth open, and he stores all of our beer."

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Psychiatrist Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Holiday Party Festivity Levels

Holiday Party Festivity Levels
Level I: Your guests are conversing quietly, nibbling at their hors d'oerves, and sipping their drinks. Later, some of the guests gather by the piano to sing carols while others admire the ornaments on your tree.
Level II: Your guests are talking loudly, wolfing hors d'oerves, and drinking from the bottles. Some people gather by the piano to sing "I Gotta Be Me" while others begin rearranging your ornaments.
Level III: Your guests are arguing wildly among themselves, those that haven't passed out from the upside-down margaritas. One person is singing "I Can't Get No Satisfaction," which can barely be heard over the sound of breaking ornaments. A small group of guests begin placing hors d'oerves in the piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike.
Level IV: Your guests, hors d'oerves smeared over their naked bodies, are performing a ritualistic dance around the burning Christmas tree. The piano is missing.
In general, you want to keep your party around Level III, unless you rent your home, have insurance, and are carrying firearms. The quickest way to get to Level III is egg-nog.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Magic Desert Drink

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling, ''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''

Categories: Genie Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
Anonymous
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