Wrong Bus

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"

Dr. Seuss - Beer

I would drink beer,
with a goat on a boat,
in a box in my socks,
in a car
at a bar
I do, I do, I do like BEER!
Slammed I am!

Celebration

A young man walks up and sits at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires."I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots! Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blow job."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."