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Profession Jokes - Other Doctor Jokes
Bad and Worse News
A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: "Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news."
Man: "Well, give me the really bad news first."
Doctor: "You have cancer, and only 6 months to live."
Man: "And the bad news?"
Doctor: "You have Alzheimer's disease."
Man: "That's great. I was afraid I had cancer!"
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Motorcycle Crash
I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist. I rushed outside yelling, "Let me through, let me through" A man at the front said, "Thank God for that, are you a Doctor"?
I said "No, that's my fucking Pizza"
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Doctor's Notes
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
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