Can You Read This?

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

Regulatory Problem

Woman: I have a problem.
Doctor: Well, are you regular?
Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30.
Doctor: So, what's the problem?
Woman: I don't get up until 9:30.

Will I Live Any Longer?

Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.