Fighter Pilot

Last Thursday night he gradually woke up - stiff as a plank in a hospital's ICU.
Tubes up his nose and down his throat; wires monitoring every function and all around his head, hell of a pain over his left ear . . .and a Drop Dead Gorgeous Nurse hovering over him.
It was obvious he'd been in a serious accident. She looked deep and steady into his eyes, and he heard her slowly say,
"You may not feel anything from the waist down . . . "He managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your boobs, then?"

Dirty Nurse

Q: What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?
A: The head Nurse!

Dyslexic Nurse

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards."  said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours.  He nearly died on us!"  The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"  Suddenly, they hear this blood-curdling scream from down the hall. "Oh my God!", said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"