Signs Your Cow has Mad-Cow Disease

• Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
• She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
• Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.
• Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
• Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
• Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Archs Logo'.
• Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
• Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.
• Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.
• She starts giving you Milk of Amnesia.
• Your cow joins the Hell's Angels because, hey, it already has a cool leather jacket.
• Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.
• Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards.
• Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
• Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time.
• Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells "Bullseye"!
• Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called "LaCream Abdul Milkbar".
• Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.
• Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.
• You find your cow hiding secret plans to burn down half of Chicago.
• Your cow keeps wanting to chew other cows cuds.
• Your cow believes it could really jump over the moon like in the nursery rhyme if it had a really good run at it.

Accountant and Shepherd

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over. It's a big flock, so he takes the bet.
The man looks around and answers, "869."
The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "Okay, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." The man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." The man agrees. "You are an accountant for the government," says the shepherd.
"Amazing!" responds the man. "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."

The Parsley Farmer Lawsuit

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?