A Hooker And A Engineer

Q: What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!

If Its Not Broke

Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it... Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Two Engineers Change Careers

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top, when a woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving in the United States Congress.