Worries of an Accountant

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said.  "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Librarian GPS

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references.

Mr. Schneider in Court.

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money".  Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do."