F. Lee Bailey and Lawyers

Q: What's the difference between F. Lee Bailey and a generalized joke about Lawyers?
A: One is boorish rude and insensitive, the other is just a joke!!

What a Workout!

My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.

A Red Spot On the Dash

A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him a hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it's for. He replies "Oh that's a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that way" The other driver thinks that's a great idea so he paints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking so he picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks him what it's for. He says "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"