Light Bulb - Kennedy

Q: How many Kennedy's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, at least until we get some corroborating witnesses.

Robber, Really!

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. February 17, 1993 Fort Erie, Ontario, Constable Paul Fletcher told reporters in December that a man armed with a club tried to force a woman to drive him home with her to get money for him, but that when he waited for her to unlock the passenger door from inside, she sped away.

Client Bill

A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.
The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:

1 screw = $1
Knowing how to put it in = $4999
$5000 total
The businessman never argued.