Bun Twitch

An obese woman goes to a doctor to be put on a drastic weight-loss program. The doctor tells her that she can eat anything she likes but that any food must be inserted up the anus. The woman agrees and four weeks later comes back for a check-up. The doctor is very pleased with the woman’s progress but is concerned that the woman’s hips keep twitching constantly. 
“When did that hip twitching start?” asks the doctor. “That's not twitching,” replies the woman. “I’m chewing gum.”

Adjust the Chair

A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth. "Aha, cavity! I'll have to drill this one out!", says the dentist. "Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!!", cries the lady.  "In that case, I will have to adjust the chair first", replies the dentist.

Pills

A gay guys walks into a pharmacy with his suppository prescription and approaches the front counter. He hands the prescription to the pharmacist and after confirming the prescription, the pharmacist asks him, "Okay sir, what kind of pills would you like?"
The guy looks around and over the shoulder of the pharmacist, and spots something he wants. He points at the wall and says, "I'll take that kind right there!"
The pharmacist looks at what he is pointing at and says, "Sorry sir, but you cant have that. It's our fire extinguisher!"