Locked Out

Locked my keys in the car outside an abortion clinic. They weren't impressed when I went in and asked if they had a coat hanger.

Surgeon and Plumber

A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at a neurosurgeon's house. After a 2-minute job, he demanded $75. "I don't charge this amount even though I'm a surgeon." "You're right -- that's why I switched from surgery to plumbing!"

Bar Association Meeting

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers