New Experience

There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation. The doctors gathered at his bed afterwards to tell him the bad news. "Ohhhh no!!!" the patient wailed, "I'll never be able to experience an erection again!" "Of course you'll still be able to experience erections," replied one surgeon, "only it will have to be someone else's!"

Doctor Doctor - Three Crabs

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I've had tummy ache since I ate three crabs yesterday.
Doctor: Did they smell bad when you took them out of their shells?
Patient: What do you mean "took them out of their shells"?

Satisfaction Guaranteed

A psychiatrist, who was just starting out, advertised his clinic as follows: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your mania back!"