The Honest Lawyer

Q: When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?
A: When his lips are shut.

Additional Business One-Liners

• Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average. 
• Enough research will tend to support your theory.
• Entropy has us outnumbered.
• Error is often more earnest than truth. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
• Even if the grass is greener on the other side: they, like you, still have to cut it.
• Even paranoids have enemies.
• Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
• Every solution breeds new problems.
• Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Sick Again

Two guys work for the city: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole. A confused passerby asks, "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?" The digger leans on his shovel and replies, "The lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today."