Recruiting Day

A nurse dies and is greeted in the after life by Saint Peter. He tells her there’s a policy of allowing people to choose whether they want to spend eternity in Heaven or in Hell and she can spend a day in each before making a decision. The nurse goes to Hell for the day where she meets many old friends and colleagues in a sunny garden. They take her for an excellent dinner, and she even meets the Devil , who turns out to be pretty decent. Next day she spends a day in Heaven where she sits around on clouds, sings, and plays the harp . When Saint Peter asks what her choice is, she says, “Well, Heaven was nice, but I had a better time in Hell. So I’d like to go there please.” Her wish is granted and down to Hell she goes. When she get there she finds a desolate wasteland covered in filth and her friends, dressed in rags, collecting garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil walks over to greet her, and the nurse says, “How could this place change so much in a day. Yesterday it was like paradise.” The Devil smiles and says, “Yes, but yesterday we were recruiting – today you’re staff.”

The Problem with Lawyer Jokes

Q: Do you know what the problem is with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and the rest of us don't think they're jokes!

The Virgin And The Farmer Boy

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before. She asks the boy, "What are they doing?" He says: "They're making love." "Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" She asked. "Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered. "Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked. He says, "Those are his knots." She says, "Oh, okay, I got it. "As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were." Surprised and excited, the boy agrees. While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes. "Whoa, what are you doing?!" he shouts. The girl innocently replies, "I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope!"