Hiding in a Tree

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were being chased by the police. The girls decided to go up three different trees and hide. The brunette hid in the apple tree. The redhead hid in the lemon tree, and the blonde hid in the oak tree. The policeman went to the apple tree and said, "Is there anyone up there?" The brunette went, "meow." The policeman said to himself, "Oh, its just a cat stuck up in a tree!" Then he went over to the lemon tree and said, "Is there anyone up there?" The redhead went, "bark bark." The policeman said to himself, "Oh, its just a dog stuck up in a tree!" Then he went over to the oak tree and said, "Is there anyone up there?" The Blonde went, "Acorn, acorn!"

Lying to a Politician

A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!" The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you." "Sure you could!" said the political man, "if you could lie as well as I do!"

Sick Pig

Q: Why do pigs never recover from illness?
A: Because you have to kill them before you cure them!