Bury My Wife

A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed: "Come and bury my wife." "But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker. "I got married again," the man sobbed. "Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."

Farmer and Girlfriend

A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses."Boy", said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to do the same."  "Well, go ahead", said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."

Calling The Shots

I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office the other day when the doctor started yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!" I went up to the nurse and asked her what was going on. She told me that the doctor liked to call the shots.