Profession Jokes

A Hygiene Problem

A woman visits her physician. She enters the doctors' office and sits down. The doctor asks her, "Well, what can I do for you madam?" The patient blushes and the doctor sees that she is embarrassed so he says, "You can discuss any matter with me, everything is strictly confidential." So the patient says, "My husband complains that my pussy smells bad, is there a cure for this?" "Sure", the doctor says, "It can be a fungus, or a little infection, nothing unusual, please undress and lay down, so I can examine you and prescribe a treatment." The woman undresses, gets up the bed and with her legs spread waits until the doctor attends her. He comes in, walks towards here, starts gasping for air, covers his mouth and nose with a hand and runs out of the office. After a minute or so, he enters again, covering his mouth and nose with one hand an a 7 feet wooden stick with an iron hook on it in the other hand. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, what are you going to do to me?" shouts the patient. "Nothing", says the doctor, "I'm just going to open the roof window and get some fresh air in here."

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Anonymous

U.S. Air Force Pilot

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
I have a friend who flew Lear Jets for the U.S. Air Force. He would occasionally be assigned to an air show where one of his tasks was answering questions about his plane. Someone would always point to the fuel tank and ask if it was a missile. His standard answer was, "I can neither confirm or deny the presence of nuclear weapons on this aircraft." 

Anonymous

Route 66

A redneck truck driver is driving east on Route 66 when he sees another truck coming west. The CB crackles to life. “Hey, redneck,” says a voice on the radio. “Who are the two biggest faggots in America?” The redneck replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says, “You and your brother.” The redneck is annoyed but the other driver says, “It’s just a joke. Tell it to the next truck you see.” The redneck drives for an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on his CB and says, “Hey, other truck, d’you know who the two biggest fags in America are?” The other trucker says, “No. Who?” The redneck replies, “Me and my brother.”

Anonymous
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