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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts

Penal Enlargement Announcement
I was actually thinking about getting penal enlargement surgery -- thought I'd share that with everybody. But the surgery is dangerous, and it's really expensive. But I found this great, safe alternative to penal enlargement surgery: the metric system.
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Mighty Weapons
Once, in medieval times, there was a King who was getting bored after dinner one night. He decided to hold a contest to see who in his court had the mightiest "weapon." The first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon... He pulled down his pants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered, the women swooned, the children waved multicolored banners, and the band played appropriate music.
Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pants and tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered, the women swooned, the children waved multicolored banners, and the band played appropriate music.
After several more knights tried to prove their superiority, the King finally spoke out. "I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a 30 pound, but a 40 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered, the women swooned, the children waved multicolored banners, and the band played "God Save the Queen."
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Man, Witch and Frog
There was a man who had a 25 inch penis, so he decided to see a witch to have it reduced. Once with the witch he said, ''I need your help. My penis is so big it's hard for me to find women who can accommodate me. Can you help me?" The witch said, "Go to the forrest, in the middle of it you'll find a frog, ask it to marry you."
So he left to the forrest and after hours of walking he found the frog, he kneeled down and asked the frog to marry him.
The frog said, "NO." Then his penis shrunk five inches. So he figured it out for every time the frog said no it will shrink five inches. He asked the frog again, "Will you marry me?" And again, the frog said, "NO." And it shrunk another five inches.
Then he thought, "15 inches is still too big. I'll ask it again. Ten inches will be fine." So he asked the frog one more time, "Will you marry me?" The frog looked up at him in disgust and said, "I told you: NO. NO. NO. A million times NO!"
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