Manly Signs

"Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors office. "I think I'm turning into a man" then the doctor says, "Now hold on little lady what makes you think that you're turning into a man?" "Well" said the woman "I'm starting to grow hair on my chest" and then the doctor asked, "Well then, how far down your chest is your hair growing?" and then she replied, "All the way down to my dick".

Stop Redundancy

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Anti - proliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be un or confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

Jury Duty

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.