How Slime Flies

Q: What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?
A: Oh, how slime flies!

Satan's Beatitudes

• Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church - they are my best workers.
• Blessed are those who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - I can use them in my business.
• Blessed are those who are touchy. Soon they will stop going to church - verily, they shall be my missionaries.
• Blessed are those who sow gossip and trouble - they are my beloved children.
• Blessed are those who have no time to pray - for they are MY prey.
• Blessed are those who gossip - for they are my secret agents.
• Blessed are you when you read this and think it has everything to do with other people, and nothing to do with you. - I've got room for YOU at my inn.

Blonde and the Titanic

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on the Titanic.