Dumb Questions

• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?
• Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
• When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
• When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
• When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
• Where are the germs that cause ‘good’ breath?
• Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
• Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green?
• Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
• Why are they called "stands" when they’re made for sitting?
• Why aren’t there ever any guilty by standers?
• Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn’t the company just hire taller dancers?
• Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
• Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

Food Better Than Men

Q: Why is food better than men?
A: Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Borrow Your Ass

Q: Can I borrow your face for a few days?
A: My ass is going on vacation.